A cheerful heart is good medicine. Proverbs 17:22

WELCOME to some comic relief after the seriousness of past blogs. Inspired by All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten by Robert Fulghum, I’ll share a bit of “wisdom” from the perspective of a five-year-old. As we learn to navigate through life, experience becomes our best teacher and humor can redeem that experience. What seemed so end-of-the-world traumatic to a five-year-old, ends up bringing a smile or even laughter given time and distance. Too many stories dot my fifth year of life to share at length, therefore, enjoy a few snippets from that year to remind you to smile at your own childhood experiences.

• When you swing on the lawn swing with a cute little neighbor boy across from you, do not let him lean over and kiss you, especially not if your parents are watching from the kitchen window. You just might burst into tears with embarrassment, Georgie will run away, and you may never see him again!
• When you get an idea to go home with a friend after kindergarten without permission, it is not a good idea because your parents will go to the police station to find you. Plus you have to be able to tell your friend’s dad how to drive you back to your house, and if you already have directional dyslexia, well, it takes some time to find it.
• Cutting off your ringlet, even if it keeps getting in your face while trying to cut out a jack-o-lantern in kindergarten, is not a good idea. Also, do not cut off another one when you get home.
• It is never a good idea to draw on walls no matter how great an artist your parents said you were. It can break your heart to actually be spanked for making something beautiful and for them not to understand that.
• Do not go for a walk in the garden in the spring, even with your mud boots on, because they get stuck and your sock foot will come right out and you’ll have to step into the mud so you won’t fall over. Then you’ll have to cry very loudly ‘cause Mommy does not like dirt, especially not mud, and she’s the only one around who can rescue you.
• It is a bad idea to make dots on your drawing paper with a sharp pencil when it is on a vinyl kitchen chair just because it sounds cool. And when your Daddy sees holes in the chair, don’t tell him you didn’t know you were making holes. If he believes you, he won’t spank you, but you’ll feel very guilty for lying.
• Never tip a full bottle of orange soda pop toward you from a high counter to reach the straw.
• Don’t eat too much watermelon before bedtime. A bad idea.
• It can be a good idea to stick your hand or foot over the edge of your bed at night to prove nothing will grab it even if you’re scared something will.
• It is a bad idea to play that you are blind anywhere near a long open staircase. It can scare the living daylights out of you when suddenly the floor is gone and you sort of bounce and fly all the way down the stairs, even if your Mommy catches you at the bottom.
• If your Daddy has an idea to bring home a brand new tiny puppy that doesn’t know where to go potty, don’t expect your Mommy to let you keep it for very long. And when you grow up, you’ll always kind of wonder what ever happened to that little puppy.
• Don’t chew on soft tar from the street even if it is someone else’s idea of chewing gum and don’t try to feed the gullible little neighbor boy dirt by the curb even if you have a spoon to do it.
• It is a cool idea to put dry dirt on top of a wet mud-pie because it feels soft and you can push on it without getting mud on your hand.
• It’s a bad idea to tell your little brother to do stuff you are scared to do, like jump off a dry docked diving board onto the sand. He will learn not trust you.
• When you are busy playing or drawing or making something, it is not a good idea to try to wait too long to use the bathroom!
• When your grampa lets you comb his hair, it is not a good idea to turn the comb around and around in his front wave. Even if he is a very kind and patient man, it still is a bad idea.

. . . if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding—indeed, if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God. Proverbs 2:1-5

In a few days I’ll post, “Store Adventures and the Devil.” You may not want to miss it!