A man’s steps are directed by the LORD. How then can anyone understand his own way? Proverbs 20:24

Back in Fresno, California, in a small rental between Conrad’s sister’s home and a smelly chicken ranch, I stood doing dishes one day and suddenly realized. . . I felt happy! All the tension and responsibilities over the past years at Carrot River had lifted. Here we were, poor as church mice, few belongings, no job, but I felt happy!

We enrolled the boys in a Christian school, bought a schnauzer puppy we named Pepper, enjoyed living close to cousins, and living next to horse barns and corrals bordering one side of our ranch style house. It was September, ’82. Joel was only a year old, Charissa three, and the boys, ages seven and eight.

Just after Christmas, a maintenance job opened for Conrad at Link Care Center. In January of ’83 we moved into one of their apartments next to a swimming pool, and a few doors down from Conrad’s semi-retired parents. The kids spent time with grandparents, learned to swim, and played with the missionary kids whose parents were enrolled at the missionary center for care and repair.

Just before Charissa turned four years old, she asked Jesus into her heart. I thought, Oh Lord, she is too young! Yet, she never wavered in her faith. At the end of the school year, each teacher at the Christian school presented a trophy for “Christian Character.” Both Jonathan and Jami received these coveted awards. Conrad, struggling with his new identity as a displaced pastor, shed tears of joy.

A few weeks later, he received a call to candidate at a good-sized and long-established church near Gresham, Oregon. Our hearts filled with joy and by June first, we moved into the parsonage on Carpenter Lane and Conrad pastored Pleasant Home Baptist Church. We thanked God for His sweet grace.

After the first few weeks, Conrad came home, leaned on the kitchen counter, and said, “I don’t think they need me here.” The last pastor, a gifted administrator, ran the church like a fine tuned machine. However, God knew what He wanted to do in and through us. In time, people thanked us for our ministry and new families came.

Sunday school, Sunday morning worship, Sunday night, and Wednesday night Bible study were the basic weekly norm for the last 100 years. In fact, the church would soon celebrate it’s 100th anniversary. The church had a choir, Children’s Church, Vacation Bible School, Christmas programs, potlucks, board meetings, and business meetings—all very typical conservative church repertoire back in the ’80’s.

We were young—early thirties, with four young children. The former pastor retired from pastoral ministry and perhaps the pastoral search committee thought a young family would bring new life to the church. We did that. However, some people find change, any change, difficult. Besides that, Conrad’s strengths did not include administration, but rather his enthusiastic preaching and enjoyment of people.

At one point, the board asked him to take time away and come back with his vision for the church. Conrad’s extroversion performs best by processing verbally with other people. Solitary confinement puts him to sleep. Who would take the heat for making changes? That would be the pastor’s job. Whew! The pressure was on.

Then one Sunday a new seminary couple visited and happened to be looking for a ministry. We got together, shared hearts, and prayed with them. Terry was trained in Navigators and eager to teach small group discipleship—just what we believed could spark the church into renewed growth and strength.

Conrad approached the board. They liked the idea, voted to open such a position, and told Conrad he could choose the person to fill it. He chose Terry. I felt a huge weight lift off my own shoulders! Finally Conrad had a man to share the burden of ministry with him and he perked right up. A new vision and implementation of discipleship for the church began.

In the meantime, we enjoyed family life on the parsonage acreage. We acquired some horses, dogs, hamsters, and parakeets. Besides horseback riding and monitoring all the pets and kids, I longed to teach women. However, I deferred to an older woman to teach the women’s class and stayed in the nursery so more women could attend. In time, my longing metamorphosed into writing a monthly Bible study for the women instead.

Every year I attended the Conservative Baptist Pastors’ Wives Retreat with 300-400 women. The second year, I worked together with the executive team to plan the next year’s retreat. The idea of starting a monthly letter to the pastors’ wives ignited joy and fear. Thoughts of, Who do you think you are among all these seasoned pastors’ wives?! nearly dissuaded me, however, God’s Spirit gave me courage.

We launched Courage For Pastors’ Wives, a small in-house publication that connected 600 women with words of encouragement every other month for the next five years. We could not get a retreat speaker that year, but God gave me an idea for a multimedia presentation. I began in April to write the allegorical script, photograph illustrations, and find and write music. With Conrad’s help in photography, recording, and narration, we completed the project just in time, three months later.

The Weaver ended up as an hour-long story narrative with 300 dissolving slides set to music. We not only presented it at this retreat but later to many other churches and groups. I realized that God did not just inspire me write the Courage publication and Weaver presentation for others; They were for me! Soon I would need more courage and faith than ever before. . .

In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9