I was miserable, often angry, and vulnerable to temptation. Acceptance from my classmates was more important to me than identifying too closely with being “religious,” even though I had asked Jesus into my heart as a child. Then there was the night of the youth rally. The Holy Spirit struck my conscience but I was too prideful to go forward. The appeal ended. Suddenly a greater fear tore at my heart and I asked God to give me another chance.

Another time came and a number of my classmates were again in the audience. With sweating palms and pounding heart I stood to make my profession clear. Suddenly it didn’t matter who was there; I only knew deep inside that Jesus wanted ALL of me. That night the attitude of my heart and the direction of my life were altered. He took me, cleansed me and began to transform me. The power of His Holy Spirit brought changes in my attitudes and actions that my family and friends noticed. Instead of caring what others thought of me, I began to care for others and about their relationship with God.

Many years have come and gone since then. The process of learning to know God, love Him and make Him LORD and Master of my life is still in process and I have grown to want ALL of Him. One day when I see Him in all His magnificent glory, I pray He will not have to be ashamed of me. Such misery I cannot imagine. Though He set me in the right direction long ago, I find that every single day the choice remains before me to go my own way or to surrender to His Lordship. I bow before Him again today… Not my will…but Yours be done.

LORD GOD AND I

Alone we dance—
Lord God and I,
Our spirits circle lovingly.
He takes a step,
I follow near.
Alone we dance.
No one can know
The pain, the tears,
The loneliness we span
Between the stars
Through time and space,
Waltzing to eternal plan.
Alone we dance,
Our gazes meet,
We smile, we know,
We understand.
He winks, I cry…
And we embrace,
Creator and created—
Lord God and I.
What rhythm beat
From heaven to earth
On crimson feet for sin atone?
Alone He danced
Beneath a cross
From earth to heaven’s throne.
Triumphantly the dance moves on
And earthly visions fade
As in His arms
I’m held secure—
By the sacrifice He made.
Such music rolls
Through cosmic space
I cannot now describe
But swells of praise reverberate
Eternally transcribed.

—MarJean S. Peters